No excuses

I say no excuses but I have many....

It's been almost two months since a post and if there are any readers left they should know I have NO excuses. I ditched you on promised stories from Italy, and stories of how I am not longer retired ( don't get excited I still don't have one of those real jobs) and things about my book.

The NEWS: I have a book....!!!!!! Much more work than I thought it would take...but it is done... but before you start your cheers, long time readers of this blog, meaning my friends in real life like Steph and Michelle, and then my friends in not real life like Paula ( P. The Fuck. S. where did your website go?) will see that the book is a mere attempt at thinking I finished something. In other words meaning you perhaps have read most of it on here. So why would you go and buy it for $14.95? I don't know perhaps because you are either stupid enough or you love me enough to keep coming back here even when I haven't updated in almost 2 months! You decide SUCKER!!!

For now if you want to order it best way is though www.lulu.com.... search for the Title "Loud Mouth" and Author... who else but "Katie Lauren" And yes before you rag on me, I am self published, and yes I know it is a cop out, and not I didn't do it because I couldn't find a real publisher. I did it because I wanted to hold something in my hands that was mine and ONLY mine.... and I can't ever explain to any of you how damn fucking good that felt!!!!

Kaite Lauren

Look 'y' at me friend!!!

I know, I promised posts about Italy, and I am long over due for my anual Christmas letter, however it is all for a GOOD reason. And NO! I am not knocked up! In the mean time check out one of my old writing pals (real life) I love her and miss her, but don't tell her so or she might think i want to lock lips with her.....

http://www.breedavies.com/


Lauren

Shi*T

Am I seriously watching Marc Anthony sing PAUL SIMON's Mrs. Robinson LIVE on T.V.? I Never, hardly EVER, comment on TV or celebrity shit...but are you kidding me? J Lo's Spermanator had the RIGHT to sing some Paul? I swear to GOD if he had even thought of pulling out some Billy Joel's "My Life" I would have moved to Canada!!!!

Fug

Ok ,so I was caught... a comment on my last post left from "s" stated that she "in fact KNEW I was home" from Italy. So yes, I am home... and have been for weeks.... I have been busy. The part that bothers me is not that I have been home or it has been a few weeks since an update but the fact ONE of my friends finds it ok to sign with"S". Now, I know a friend that signs with "M" but that is Michelle and I know it... come on"S" come out of the closet, I know its you, it's ok to admit you love me and visit here. The "M" doesn't bother me... Michelle is paranoid about people that don't know her, knowing things about her. The "S" is inexcusable... it is Steph or Sarah, and I don't care which one of you it is but neither of you have anything to hide and might as well come out, here and now!!!! Come right out of the closet and admit to knowing me.... I'm not all that bad! Things could be worse.

And for the rest of you, my busyness is for a reason..... My book will be printed in less than 3 weeks, and there is more in the future... For now I leave you with this online conversation between me and my brother after I heard I didn't get a position I really didn't want, but NO ONE likes getting beat out for a job!!!!!!!

KATIELAUREN: ugh I’m going to go cry now because I didn’t get the job

PUBES: really?

PUBES: why?

KATIELAUREN: beat out by a teacher with 15 years experience

PUBES: oh

KATIELAUREN: who, with 15 years is willing to work for 17,000 a year?

KATIELAUREN: that’s bullshit

PUBES: U can't do anything about that

KATIELAUREN: I'll be right back

PUBES: at least you didn't get beat out by a retarded midget

PUBES: that would be something to cry about

And that is why I loves me family!!!!!

Until next time...

Lauren

Gone

For those of you who read this... I am in Italy with my mother.... Hundreds of stories to follow when I get home!

Lauren

Young

One of my bestest friends ever just got engaged!!!! She is one of my bestest, but certainly my oldest, and she proved it with these pictures emailed to me tonight....

This is when I fell in love with her...

"isn't she lovely"




















Ok and she included one that I am in, and anyone who reads this knows I NEVER have pictures of me... so guess which one is me...(Lisa, Stephanie, Michelle guesses don't count!!!!)

Last night in a conversation with a friend of mine regarding some language I used in my book (that could be thought of a derogatory to a certain group) she stated...

"leave it, offensive is the new funny."


Agree? Disagree? I would hate to print a book that would offend anyone... well anyone that has a sense of humor. It's a given that it would offend strongly religious folks, prudes, anti bad language folks, many parents, old people and baby Jesus.

And for those of you that lurk around here and tell me later you read it! The least you can do is leave a comment so I can get that stupid giddy feeling when I check my site. You don't have to sign up, or even leave your real name. Just let me know I'm not alone out here! : )

Look, my blog just changed it's outfit...

I know not so creative but hopefully in time here I will be a bit more. You will also notice my archives leaving in a few days... there is reason behind my madness, I'm just not telling you!

Lauren

Change of Title

I have changed my mind; I went from referring to myself as unemployed to retired. I now prefer to be thought of as a Stay At Home Mom…you know without any of those children things…

Lauren