Cleaning Out My Closets

We’re moving soon so tonight I decided to clean house and I came across a few thing I thought I would share. Some of the things I kept and some I ditched…

Terrible pictures I developed myself in a darkroom my mom and uncle made for me when I was about 14. – TRASHED… Most because I was a terrible photographer, some because they were bad memories, some because I looked ugly, and the rest because they turned yellow like they had Jaundice.

Old diaries ranging from age seven on. KEPT… part because they have good memories, part because they humble me into remembering how stupid I was, part because one had an entry entered much later in life, secretly written from a friend stating “I want to fuck Mik” referring to my seven year old journal entry about having a crush on Mik, or how adults spell “Mike” Part because I don’t think its legal to go somewhere and burn them, isn’t there some kind of open fire law?

Cards from old friends/ old family members. KEPT… (some of them) There is nothing like reading through old birthday cards to remind you of how many people love you and how great they think you are. Purpose for saving: Pure Ego Boost

Sorbet. ALMOST TRASHED… a stuffed Eeyore from when I was too old to have stuffed animals. I think psychologists call this digression. Threw him away somewhere I could retrieve him, if after I slept off this wine buzz I could find him, you know… if I needed to.

Old Poems written in middle school. TRASHED… way before I knew what love was, feeling were, or life was about (if I do now)… threw away because they were far to embarrassing to even read let alone kept. I kept envisioning I would die and someone would find these, and realize what a douche bag I was.

Soap making paraphernalia from when I decided to be “Katie Lauren Soap Maker Extraordinaire”.TRASHED… because I realized microwaving soap and pouring it into plastic molds was not fun. Even after you added a scented fragrance.

Construction paper Indians( Native Americans), from my first year working in an elementary classroom found in the file cabinet of a twenty six year long teacher. KEPT… because I know I will NEVER see anything more politically incorrect in all my teaching years.

Old Army issued birth certificates from Germany, that belong to my old boyfriend. SENT TO HIM… because I don’t want them, he might need, them and I feel too guilty to throw them away.

Pictures of my old dogs I sold to a puppy mill when me and the old boyfriend broke up. TRASHED… Ok I DIDN’T sell them to a puppy mill, just some really nice folks with lots of kids and a big back yard. But the puppy mill sounded funny, and as far as the pictures they were trashed because they no longer seemed useful.

Project I entered in our elementary school “stock show” a real pretty story, decorated with all kind of flashy paper about my pet tadpole I ordered in the mail. KEPT… this shit is just plain funny.