The Secret Life Of Lauren

It’s been a few days but only because I’ve been busy getting engaged and pooping.

Although tempting to leave it at that and leave you all hanging I suppose I will fill in a little more information.

See earlier in the week the boyfriend had told me not to make plans for Saturday. I was excited because we never seem to be able to fit in enough “us” time (cheesy) due to school, and work, and well just being myself seems to take up a lot of time. Like at least five minutes to find my keys, at least three times a day, and at least ten minutes to drive back to the house to make sure I shut the garage, and then drive the ten minutes back to where I was when I started to think I hadn’t shut the garage. I need at least seven minutes to round up my underwear the dogs brought into the yard, and another fifteen to beat them for doing it. Ok, so I don’t beat them but at least fifteen minutes to give them dirty looks and say things to them such as “I am really disappointed in your decisions.” Then I need at least eighteen minutes MINIUM to make up with them. The list continues in this fashion so as you can see sometimes I have a hard time making “us time”.

So plans were set for Saturday until something unexpected came up Friday night, or I should say came out Friday night. I went into the bathroom Friday night and didn’t emerge until sometime Saturday afternoon.

I think I just reached a whole new level… now the internet knows I poop…shhhh… don’t tell anyone.

So by Saturday night it occurred to me that perhaps he could be planning something else, that or I should at least buck up and deal with it to make it to our dinner reservation he so nicely got my dress dry cleaned for. So I sent the boy to the store for some anti-pooping pills, and took enough to make me not poop for months.

Dinner was wonderful!, or at least the two bites I ate of a 40 dollar steak were SUPURB!! After that something’s happened that lead me to now presently being engaged.

I would go into more detail however, some things are sacred and if pooping isn’t anymore I’ve got to keep something to myself.

# posted by laurenblogs @ 7:52 PM