Wedding Schmeding, Bullshit Mullshit!!

Good LORD!!!! I wanted to plan a simple wedding not throw myself overboard off a ship. People are crazy, these websites are crazy! I must have gotten on the wrong mailing list because my mailbox is now full of shit from photographers, to cake decorators. That part I can deal with, but does anyone else see anything wrong with a minister who advertises? I mean wholly shit aren’t I suppose to find you, and ask you to marry me, and you reject me because I haven’t been in “God’s House” (Church) in over five years? Or because I pleasure myself from time to time, or because I’ve had pre-marital sex? One time in high school I even laughed at a deaf girl! Damn I am so not the chick to be begging to marry, you better check with God first on this one before you start mailing me priced package plans.

In fact last time I went to church a fire alarm went off and I told my old boyfriends mothers it was “God telling me to get the fuck out of his house.”