To Blog or Not to Blog (part two)

Back when I started this blog in 2006 (can’t believe it’s been that long) I struggled with the question of “To Blog or Not to Blog.” A little because I had never yet let anyone read anything I wrote and more mostly because the thought of putting yourself out there for the world to see was a bit scary. I was in the process of finishing school to be a teacher, and the idea of future students or job prospects knowing my life was a little like nothing I ever wanted at all. This was long before Myspace, You Tube, Facebook or where Googling people’s names actually produced results related to the person you knew and not just someone who shared the same name who happened to win a cross country meet at some random high school.

Since then I have read my writing in front of audiences, both small and medium and wrote a book put out there for the public to see. I however have grown no more comfortable with the idea of putting yourself out there for the world to know, stalk, or snoop. My myspace (built years ago) is private and the only picture uploaded was one of my dog. You can’t search for me by my high school, email, zip code or real name. I delete comments left from friends that would lead anyone who thinks they know me to believe, as my tag line reads “This is not the Katie you are looking for.”

I have spent years freaking out when friends put pictures of me on their page mostly because I feel it is an invasion of privacy, and a little because I’ve gotten fatter than I care to admit and it seems that the only time your friends (no matter how much they love you) seem to post pictures of you is when it is in compromising situations…drunk, hung-over, fatty, zitty or otherwise shit you wouldn’t want your Grandma to see.

My cousin Lindsay blew my shit when she left a copy of my book for my Grandma to read. The one and only book I ever published that contained a story about my grandma shitting herself, not to mention stories that referred to my vagina (my Judy) the fact I used to like to fuck around a bit, drank too much and was pretty much a total loser. I would expect not the kind of grandchild she was hoping for. Why Lindsay left it there? I will never know. When you ask her she simply says “She asked me to.”

Thanks Lindsay…

So my shit was out of the bag and I gradually have become a little less than uncomfortable with picture friends post of me online. Facebook added a feature a few years ago where you can “tag” pictures of people. You not only post them on your page but if you add my name it automatically post them on my page. Meaning two things, there are pictures of me floating around I would prefer to not even have seen myself let alone be added to the permanent archives of the “World Wide Waste of time.” And second that my friend Steph better never get a Facebook and dare to add picture of me in any state less than perfect because I am holding onto a goldmine of discriminating blackmail pictures from a trip to Mexico when we were eighteen.

Today I was talking with my boyfriend about the start of blogs. About the first internet celebrity I remember. I can’t for the life of me remember his name now but I am sure he used to live at about ten websites long before blogs and he boasted about once being on MTV’s Singled Out. He was a bit of a porn freak and an almost Fabio look alike. I am sure he can still be found at one of the ten websites he used to run (and I would check before posting but due to the fact my neighbor who I stole internet from moved I can’t right now) www.cockybastard.com

What has made them since boy wondered? Two things I answered, One the ability to share themselves. Some of the big girls or guys often hide parts of their lives but share so much more. They might refer to a significant other as “Boy” or perhaps the first letter of their name. The might hide where they live, or work, or post pictures that have their face shaded out. The bottom line is they give up far more than they hide. They allow us into their lives to know them, or at least most parts. They lean us on a voyeuristic journey, not laying it all out, like a good book, or more like a great movie that never ends. The make you want more. A slow journey in character development. Two: They have a niche. It’s the mommy blogger, the craft lady, the reformed Mormon, the recovering alcoholic, the expecting mother, the single party girl, the single thirty-tired of being alone-my life is pathetic-Sex in the City-eccentric wannabe. Bottom line they have something the reader wants; wants to love, wants to hate, want to relate to or wants to mock. I have always been blown away by the hate mail these bloggers get and often post. People take time out of their lives to not only read these sites but to type an email saying how much they hate the writer. It would be like me writing hate mail to Jack In The Box because once again I found myself there eating their shit food at 3:00 am. I hate it, I know it sucks but goddam I’ll be back for more.

So what do I have, I have a boring blog because I refuse to tell you all anything about me, and I actually had to ask my boyfriend how to spell the word “niche” meaning two things and two things only… One, I certainly don’t have one, and two I can’t spell.

November is officially NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and since founded many fellow bloggers (can I say fellow when I go months upon months of not blogging?) participated in NaBlogPoMo National Blog Posting Month, meaning one blog a day for one month. Well, It’s the last day of November and given that I would beat any self proclaimed procrastinator in a pie eating contest (given we could start tomorrow) I decided one blog a day from here until Christmas.

What do I have to write about the boyfriend asked. The beginning I told him. I will start at the beginning.

April 29, 1980 I was born.

Ok so nothing at all like the Baby Jesus, but my scanner is at the office so I can’t post a baby picture of me

See you tomorrow…