Back and Better Than Ever

Ok so it's been a while.

As I said in the last post I needed to take some time because I was working on a pretty big project. I opened a store. I can't go into much detail on here because I'm fairly certain that some of my customers wouldn't appreciate reading about me getting banged in the back seat of a car or all the times I made fun of retarded kids.

But it's a store. And it's mine. And I've never been happier in my life. It all happened so fast I feel like I blinked my eyes and here I was. When the idea came about I was wishing I was back in Denver with all my friends because I knew they would have busted ass to help me get this done. What I didn't realize was how many good friends I had made here. There are a few of them that probably put in over 60 hours each to get this place up and running. They packed my apartment,( because I moved above the store) moved my stuff, unpacked my stuff, (ok well some of it) most of it is still in boxes. They painted, and sawed shit, and priced shit, and cleaned shit, and re-cleaned shit when I messed up the things they cleaned. All for the reasonable hourly wage of $0.00 dollars! They did everything and there is no way I would be here without them. I guess there was a reason I stayed in this silly city after all.

I am excited because in a few weeks when things calm down I can go back to concentrating on my writing. I wrote a few posts back about a book I had started with a friend years ago that we recently picked back up. Well things are rolling right along (because she is amazing and doing all the work right now so I can play store) The photo shoots are done and they look amazing, and the layouts are in progress and in a matter of weeks we will be shopping for agents to pick us up.



After I took a "break" from teaching I was really lost as what to do with my life. I knew I couldn't be a waitress forever but I just could never figure out where I wanted to go. This was the answer, and owning a store might not be what I do for the rest of my life but for now it's a perfect fit!

I am excited, life is really, really good!

And Where have You Been Young Lady?

So I've been gone. Gone from here at least, and as it's looking I'm going to be gone a lot more. I can't say for sure that I wont update at all but I can say for sure that my life has changed drastically over the past few weeks and my spare writing time is something I am going to need to give up along with a serious facebook addiction.

No, I am not getting married and to the best of my knowledge I am not knocked up either. I have been working on a secret project for some time and have just gotten funded to go ahead with it. in other words, in a few months I will no longer be a waitress. DID YOU HEAR ME? I SAID I WILL NOT LONGER BE A FUCKING WAITRESS. So as you can tell I am excited beyond measure and at the same time scared beyond belief. As time comes closer I can give more details but I hate to jinx something that isn't 100% final. But for the mean time, I am busy, the kind of busy that makes you want to rip out your own hair but makes you feel so alive at the same time. It is beautiful.

Katie Lauren

The week that never stopped giving

For starters, my boobs are growing at an alarming pace. I realize that sounds much like a line from your favorite local mommy blogger, but the fact is I am not a mommy, nor an expectant mommy and not even sure if I qualify as a blogger. Nonetheless my boobies/bags/knockers are getting out of control over here. I don't get it. I personally, am losing weight as a whole. But the bags seem to be their own entity. Perhaps I shall consider myself the latest of the late bloomers. I can't just say "late" because really getting an average size of bags by age 18 is impressive but weeks away from 29?
My mother always said she never got hers until college. So, sure as shit after my first day enrolled in college I raced home to find that my barely "A" chest was still a barely "A" chest. So I waited years and years until I gave up waiting and decided to just go ahead and get fat instead. But NOW, NOW losing weight and gaining boobs is just too much. And really lets be honest here (you know since you are reading about me talking about my bags and all) when the big-boobied girls in school complained about hating big boobs, they really weren't just being bitchy after all. In my opinion they sucked... big time. And all this time I kept hating those bitches, putting them in the catagory of girls who call themselves fat in the company of those who are fatter, or those with two legs that challenge one legged persons to a race, or a ski competition, or to see who can tie BOTH shoes faster.

Bottom line big bags suck! Or at least to me they do. Tom swears our difference of opinion on this subject will be the demise of our relationship.

So other than bigger bags... what's new in my world you wonder?

Life is life, work is work. I took up bike riding which sucks being a chubby girl and all, but I'm working on it. I ride with people much more in shape than I am (although I must admit I'm doing okay for a pack-a-day smoker who hates to sweat). Other than a small outburst today when riding up a large hill where I shouted and cried at my riding companions, "Someone get a bitch a doughnut!" I think I might just enjoy it a tiny tiny bit.

I've started to really love my life and the diversity in it. Two nights ago I went to a poetry reading. (Okay, I know, SUCK big time) It was at an AWESOME local new book store in my town. Which is amazing that someone had the balls and faith to open a local book store in this day and age where we are outsourcing everything from tech support to blow jobs. The best part is she has some damn good taste in books. I think I girl crushed on her the second I saw a section titled "Misbehaved." Not Mystery, not History and not Self Help but "Misbehaved," and coincidentally the majority of my favorite books/authors were in it. It's not like your big chain book store which I cannot go in anymore because I am tired of trying to read something that is on a "best sellers list." This woman took one look at ONE book in my hand and had the power to determine everything else I would love. And so far she was dead on! And to think she even convinced me (a tiny bit jew) to purchase over sixty dollars worth of books in what was meant to be "a quick stop!" I kind of want to make out with her, but not like for real make out. More like, "Shit, you like books I like, and know more about books I like than I know about books I like... wanna book make out?" Thats like real making out only no touching or kissing or anything, just some serious book sharing... maybe over vodka...

So, the point, you ask. Diversity in my life.... as of late...


I ride places in this city I didn't know existed. I realize this city is much prettier that I ever knew. And I spend nights at poetry readings in book stores. Talking with artist friends who want to form a commune. One where artists could live together and be appreciated. But, don't get worried it's still me... we are going to name it "The Naked Hot Dog Lady." And we're not so concerned with growing our own shit to sustain us as we are making sure we just laugh a fucking lot!

And the next night was with work friends, at a bar listening to Reggae music and watching hippies (for lack of a better word) dance in light up houla hoops. And thanking god that I not only have a great shower but actually know how to turn it on. Oh and the fact Tom even occasionally lets me use soap.

And then in the same night seeing my old best friend from Colorado (who lives here now) and her teacher friends on Spring break. People living the dream I pretended I wanted to live. And I contemplated how hard they work, and how hard they play. And for a second I wondered what was swimming-swirling-jumping-dancing in their heads, and then I stopped... and thought

and I wondered... what did they feel about THEIR bags today?

Katie Lauren